Computer Access

I just have to give a great big THANK YOU to Charity and Dean for lending me a laptop for the remainder of our hospital stay. It definitely helps pass the long days. Thank you, thank you!

Sleeping in our own bed

Sorry for the lack of updates during the day. Hardy has had to go back to work a little bit and decided he needed to take his computer with him :) Crazy that. I've been told they have computers down in the Parent Resource Center, I just keep forgetting to wander that direction during the day. Plus, what fun is a post without a cute picture, eh?

The hotel we've been staying at is booked this weekend so we are actually going to sleep at home tonight. It's a strange thought. It feels like it's been ages since we have been outside a 2 mile radius of the hospital. I'm so grateful that we've been able to stay close while things have been a little scary, and now that Jack's doing so well it might be a bit easier to sleep at home. We'll see about that though.

Already a better day

Today is a big day for Jack to get off the ventilator so we are very, very happy to have Ken, our favorite nurse, back taking care of our little guy. It's already a much better day.

Mommy Vent

Today was a good day for Jack, but a little harder on me. I am absolutely exhausted tonight. I couldn't quite figure out why, but then I realized that it was because of our nurse today. She totally stressed me out.

She was nice enough, but she kept telling me that Jack recognized my voice and it was agitating him so I needed to not touch or talk to him so he wouldn't wake up or get upset. She actually threatened me that I better not wake him up when my Relief Society President came by and I wanted to let her see Jack. Then she asked me how I was doing with my pumping. When I told her how much I was getting she told me that I need to pump longer and more often because I'm not getting enough, but when I asked my friend Patty she said that's about how much she was getting one week after birth. And to top it off she kept lecturing me on needing to get some sleep. I'm sure her intentions were good, but I really just felt like she was trying to get me to leave so I wasn't watching her do her job. It was really annoying. All our other nurses have been great about explaining everything they are doing and trying to make it a comfortable environment up there for us. Luckily we heard her say she's not working for a few days so I don't have to ask not to get her again.

I spent the whole day with Jack and I feel like I barely interacted with him. It's left me emotionally exhausted. Thankfully it's nothing a good nights sleep and a new nurse in the morning won't fix.

Hurray for Heart Moms

I just have to say how grateful I am for the moms of other heart babies here at PCMC and around the country. They are such an amazing support network.

Friday morning as we were sitting for hours in the waiting room praying for little Jack several moms stopped by. One cute mom was up at the hospital getting her 2 year old HLHS son (also named Jack) weighed to see if he's getting big enough for his third surgery. Her Jack was the cutest, busiest, most entertaining little guy. He ran circles around the room the whole time he was there. It was such a shot in the arm for all of us to see how normal and wonderful (and busy) the future could be - so thank you Lisa for stopping by :) We loved it.

A few hours later as I had just hit the wall and was falling apart, two more heart moms, Hilary and Bryttin whose babies are currently at PCMC, stopped by to visit. They reminded me what fighters these kids are and were so encouraging. While we were in the NICU I got to know the mom of the baby next to us, sweet little Laurie. Her mom Patty stopped by with a bag of candy bars and a little toy golf cart for Jack. It was so nice. Her baby was born at 24 weeks. She has been here 2 months and Laurie just barely hit 3 lbs. That any of these moms were thinking about us while they were worrying about their own kids is just amazing to me. All these moms and families just rally together and support each other through the ups and downs. It's really incredible.

Thanks to all the heart moms and Intermountain Healing Hearts for your support!

A better day for mom and dad

Today has been a good day for Hardy and I. With so many wires, drains and IVs in Jack, there is not much we can so for him other than stroke his head and feet and talk to him. The result is that we've been able to relax a little. Ken, the nurse, found some comfortable rocking chairs for us and pulled out some warm blankets so we curled up for much of the morning reading and watching the Olympics while keeping an eye on Jack. We went out to lunch with Hardy's mom, and came back to the hotel for a little while to rest. It's been nice.

I am also extremely happy to report that the swelling in both my feet and boobs has gone down quite a bit today and making getting around much more managable. Our other good news is that Rob called us tonight and said that they were able to arrange for us to keep our hotel room for a few more nights. As long as Jack is still doing well we are planning to go home tomorrow for a few hours to do some laundry, repack our bags, and just regroup. I think it will be nice, but am glad we will be able to come back up here.

Holy cow - literally

Ok, since this is my blog, this is my update on me. It's hard to think about me right now, but I also just gave birth not that long ago, so for sisters and friends - here's how I am doing.

Holy cow - my boobs hurt! I think holding Jack last night fianlly triggered something and I woke up to a ridiculoosly large and sore chest. I met with a lactation specialist again this morning so she's helping me work through it, but it is not the best distraction while trying to worry about your kid. The good news is that at least I'm balanced and my feet are swollen to about the same size since I can't seem to stay off of them as I trudge every few hours to the pumping room.

In all, I'm doing well, it's just hard to take care of myself right now. I'm trying though.

Surgery is about to begin

We are now sitting in the waiting room waiting for Jack’s surgery to begin. We came over early this morning to spend some time with him before. They let us hold him again which was great. Dr. Kaza came and visited and told us he would take good care of him. We believe him but man it was hard to tell him goodbye. They will provide us periodic updates on his progress. We are scared but know he is in the best hands he could be.

A long day ahead

Jack's surgery will begin Friday morning at approximately 7:30. Hardy and I are trying to get a little sleep tonight and plan to head over early to spend some time with the little guy before they take him away. The NICU is usually closed while they change shifts between 6:30 and 7:30 but they said they would let us stay with him right to the very last minute. What wonderful nurses we have been blessed with for this last night before the big day. A good nurse goes a long way.

They said they will call us as soon as they make the first incision and will update us every hour after that. We'll try to keep his blog updated on his progress.

My drama for the day

So, Tuesday afternoon I was so completely exhausted that I came back to my room for a good nap. Well, of course they had to check my vitals every few hours, plus I'm up trying to pump every three hours, and every doctor imaginable had some reason to check on me, and the nurtitionist had to get my dinner order, etc, etc. Then someone in the hospital on the floor above me broke a water main so every 15 minutes someone kept stopping in to see if my ceiling was leaking, or to turn on the water. It was the worst nap ever.

Well, they finally restored the water so I didn't have to get evacuated to a new room, but I discovered Wednesday morning as I was standing in the bathroom naked, bleeding and just needing a warm shower more than anything in the world that though there was water, there was no hot water. It was more than I could handle and I burst into tears. Erin agreed when she came to check on me a little while later that no hot water was more than any woman should have to deal with 24 hours after giving birth and she was going to discharge me, but thankfully they managed to get it turn on again a few hours later so I decided to stay the night.

They also don't have hair dryers or plugs anywhere near the mirror for my curling iron so I looked like a drowned rat all day, but it was a really good day.

I am a Mother

Yesterday at 7:54 a.m. I became a mother. It was a very surreal almost out of body (no pun intended) experience that, as every mother knows, has changed me forever. My body aches, my boobs are sore, I'm completely exhausted, and I suddenly woke up this morning and realized that my heart is now hopefully resting peacefully over at PCMC.

Hardy is totally and competely smitten with the little guy and it makes me love and adore them both all the more. It's just so hard for me to imagine that Jack's perfect little body is anything but whole and complete. My arms ache to hold him, and hopefully we'll get another chance this week before he has his surgery.

Labor and Delivery

Last night Hardy and I checked into the hospital for the induction around 8:00 p.m. About 45 minutes after they gave me the medication to get us started I apparently had such a long, hard contraction that little Jack’s heart rate plummeted. The doctors and nurses rushed in and started talking about the possibility of an emergency C-Section, but Jack recovered and did pretty well for the rest of the night. I got my epidural at 12:30 a.m., they started the pitocin at 1:00, broke my water at 3:30, and by 7:20 I was pushing. According to Dr. Clark, my hips were built for giving birth (thanks for passing on those genes Mom) so I didn’t have to push for very long before Jack popped out at 7:54 a.m. He was and still is pink and perfect and looks incredibly healthy. It’s hard to believe anything could possibly be wrong with him.

After Hardy cut the cord, they passed him into the NICU at the U where they stabilized him. A little later the Life Flight team picked him up and transported him to Primary Children’s. Thankfully they made a stop by our room on the way and because he was doing so well I even got to hold sweet Jack for about two minutes. It was more than I was expecting and was so wonderful.

I didn’t make it over to Primary Children’s until later in the afternoon and then another trip to say good night, but Hardy spent most of the day walking family and friends who came to visit back and forth between my room and the NICU. We are both thoroughly exhausted. Thankfully Hardy’s extremely thoughtful friends reserved us a room over at the University Guest House for the week so he’s crashing there tonight while I recuperate in the hospital. Little Jack is doing so well and in such good hands that I think we will both sleep well tonight.

IHH Dinner

Last night I went to dinner with some of the mom’s from the Intermountain Healing Hearts group I now belong to. Three of us are pregnant and due within the next month with heart babies so the presidency got us together with a few other moms. It was so nice to spend some time with true warriors who have survived what we are about to go through. Some of their kids lost their battles, and others have kids old enough that they are now asking questions about why they are different. I loved being able to ask them a million questions, hearing about their experiences, and seeing how happy and positive they all were. They are really a great support and already I’m very grateful for all they are doing.

Today is my last day of work. It is such a weird feeling. I haven’t not worked in a very long time. That in and of itself is going to be an interesting change. The good news is that as of Monday I will be a contractor for the City, so I guess I’m not totally unemployed, I just have a different status.

Three days and counting.