Crafty me

Once upon a time in my youthful crafty days I cross stitched a bunch of stockings. Now that I have a family I've finally been able to add some names and sew them together. I gave Hardy his for our first Christmas together, and now Jack has a stocking of his very own.

Ahhhh...

Not only did my darling husband give me a wonderful blog tribute for my birthday (which was just the sweetest thing ever) but he also took today off of work to stay with Jack and sent me to the spa where I got a massage, facial and foot treatment. It was absolute heaven.

The worst thing about a massage is that after an hour it has to end, but when you're getting mulitiple treatements, the happiness just keeps coming. What a good, good husband I have.

"Thirty, Flirty and Thriving"

I was going to lament about the fact that I am now officially 30, but instead I've decided to revel in it. After all, it just means I'm in my prime now, right? I've made up my mind that this is going to be the best year yet. After all, I have a dear sweet husband who loves me more than I could ever ask for, an adorable baby, and wonderful family and friends. Hopefully this next year will bring a little less drama, but just as much happiness.

Twilight

Over the Thanksgiving weekend my mom, sisters and I went and saw Twilight. We had all read the books and were fans, but had heard mixed reviews on the movie. My thoughts? I thought it was pretty good. Not as good as the books, but movies never are. I must admit though, after watching the movie I am now becoming a big Jacob fan. I mean seriosuly, how cute is he?

Plus Edward had a kind of a big head in the show, and I saw an interview with Robert Pattinson, the actor who plays Edward, and he was kind of a doof. I still love Edward in the books, but I think I'm really going to like the next movie in this series if we get to see more of cute Taylor Lautner (yes, I know he's like 16. Still cute)

A good hubby

Yesterday I came down with a nice little head cold. Nothing serious, but enough that I need some sleep to let my body recover. Upon hearing about my illness, my sweet husband decided to take today off of work so he could get up with Jack all night and let me get some rest. Bless his heart. It's amazing how much differently you sleep when you know you have to get up with the baby verses when you know dad's got him.

I'm Grateful for...

...Good visits to the cardiologist and the news that Jack is doing well

...Heart Mom's who care about Jack's well being as much as I care about their children and who really understand the challenges of having a heart baby (thanks for calling yesterday Chrissie:)

...The exciting news that part of the new addition at Primary's is going to include a Cardiac Intensive Care Unit (CICU) so we can keep the heart babies away from the sick kids. Hopefully it will be done in plenty of time for Jack's Fontan.

...Living close to such a world class hospital as PCMC with the most amazing doctors and nurses who dedicate so much of their time and energy to caring for these kids.

...Being able to rock my baby to sleep each night (even if he wants to be rocked ALL night like he did last night...oy) knowing the families of the children at PCMC don't get to do that.

...Unexpected opportunities to serve (even though I don't get out much - thanks Deanna)

...The fact that Jack is a great eater and is gaining weight (he definitely inherited that from my side of the family) which can be such a challenge for heart babies

...Getting to spend time with family this holiday and introduce Jack to some of his cousins who have been praying for him. We can't wait to see you Er, and I'm particularly excited for our girls outing.

...Mmmm...Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing

...The gospel of Jesus Christ which blesses us with such hope, joy and peace

...Hardy finally letting me put up the Christmas tree this next weekend! I think Jack is going to love all the lights and decorations.

I could go on and on.

Go Utes!

Every year on the night before the BYU/Utah football game our friends, the Whitings, have deocrated Hardy's car with a big Y or filled our lawn with blue streamers. In retalliation, last night Hardy delivered these cookies that Jack and I made to the Whitings. He wanted them to have a little consolation prize to ease the pain of the loss they are going to get this evening.

Jack and I are crossing our fingers and toes that the Utes win. I can't even imagine having to live with Hardy if they somehow lose.

Catching up again

13 - I'm grateful that we have been selected as a Neilsen Ratings TV family. From last Thursday to this coming Thursday we have to write down everything we watch on TV. In exchange we got $30. Not too shabby. I must admit though that writing it all down makes me a little bit embarassed at how much TV I watch. I just want to write explanations all over it so they don't think I'm a total bum. "Really, I'm just a mom with a sick baby at home. If I could leave the house I wouldn't watch this much. I swear!"

14 - I'm grateful for my in-laws. We went to dinner with Hardy's mom and step-dad on Friday and I couldn't help but think how grateful I am that I genuinely like all my in-laws. I know some people who don't get along with theirs and I'm glad that I really do.

15 - I'm grateful for our amazing bodies. On Saturday Hardy stayed home with Jack and I went with my parents to the Body Worlds exhibit at the Leonardo Museum. It was fascinating and made me appreciate and want to take care of my body a little more. They focused in particular on the heart and it really hit close to home and made me appreciate the fact that Jack's works the way it does all the more.

16 - I'm grateful for good neighbors. Not only did Jack get a virus on Saturday, but Hardy AND OUR COMPUTER got viruses that night as well. Thankfully Hardy was doing much better by morning and Sunday night my computer whiz neighbor (who will remain anonymous since I know he fears becoming the ward fix-it guy :) came over and fixed the computer and we're all functioning nicely again. Being quarantined at home with a sick baby and no computer might have driven me insane so Thank you!

17 - I'm grateful that even though Jack is sick, he didn't have to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. He is doing okay today and is somewhat playful and still cute as ever, but his cough sounds absolutely horrible and he turns blue a lot faster when he starts to cry. His pediatrician called today to check on him and is keeping close tabs. I also got a call that his RSV shot is on it's way so he'll be able to get that soon.

P.S. These are things I am grateful for that date, not in priority order, otherwise Jack not being in the hospital would for sure be at the top.

9-12

Oh dear. I'm falling behind.

#9 - I'm grateful for going to church as a family. Hardy and I were naughty and took Jack to church on Sunday. It was the Primary Program, and since I was the Primary President until just a few months ago we both really wanted to go. Hardy had to talk me into it and I was so paranoid every time I heard anyone cough or clear their throat, but it was so nice to all sit together. Jack slept through most of it, but it was so darn cute. I love the Primary kids.

#10 - I'm grateful for our home. Earlier this year we tried to buy a house and sell our condo, and it all fell through and was horrible at the time, but I'm grateful that the Lord was looking out for us and it all has really been a blessing. Our condo has a low mortgage during this crazy economy, it keeps us in our sweet ward, and means we haven't had to worry about yard work while we've been focused on Jack. Definitely a blessing in disguise.

#11 - I'm grateful Hardy was able to come home a little early from basketball tryouts last night. It's been rainy and cold so Jack and I haven't even been able to go out and get the mail for two days. By the end of Tuesday I was crawling up the walls. Hardy walked in the door and I jumped for joy and practically bolted out the door.

#12 - I'm grateful for my mom letting Jack and I come hang out for a while today so I don't go crazy. :)

6, 7, & 8

#6 - Hardy

I am ever so grateful for Hardy and all that he does. He is a devoted father, husband and friend and takes very good care of Jack and I. He steps up in the middle of the night and feeds Jack when I'm too exhausted to get up even though he has to work in the morning. He changes poopy diapers like a champ. He is funny, patient, kind and just a wonderful guy. I just adore him and I'm so glad I married him.

#7 - The Utes

I am grateful that the Utes beat TCU on Thursday night if for no other reason than to see the big old smile on my husbands face when he got home from the game that night. In fact he's still grinning. He recoreded the game and he and Jack have watched the last quarter several times together. It's quite hilarious and makes me very happy.

#8 - Our last Saturday Morning

Basketball season officially begin on Monday so this is our last Saturday morning together for the next 10 months (golf season starts as soon as basketball gets over so we never see Hardy on Saturday mornings then either). It's times like this when I have to remind myself about #6.

# 5 - Friends

This evening I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with some of my dear friends from high school. Most of us even go all the way back to elementary school. We haven't seen each other in a while so it was nice to just eat and talk and enjoy each others company.

I am very grateful for the good friends that I have been blessed with in my life.

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." ~C.S. Lewis

# 4 - God Bless America

As it is Election Day, I must say that I am grateful for the democratic process and the blessing it is to live in this great nation. The process may have it's flaws (don't get me started), but for the most part it works.

And the best part is that the campaigning will finally be over! As my family and friends know, I love politics, but 2 years is way too long for a presidential campaign. I think it's fascinating how high the voter turn out is this year just so people can vote for the president when in reality, that is the race in which your vote counts the least and which will have the least impact on your daily life. I'm ready for the race to be over so we can get back to business and can talk about something other than who is going to be the next President.

Reason to be Grateful #3

3 - I am grateful that I am able to stay home and raise Jack.

Today as I watched Jack kick and wiggle in his bouncer the thought occured to me that there is no place I'd rather be than hanging out with my sweet boy, watching him discover the amazing things his hands can do and cheering every time he poops or finishes a bottle. His heart condition makes it particularly important that I be here, but even if he was totally healthy Hardy and I have been working towards making it possible so that I could stay home when we had kids. I am very grateful that Hardy has a good job and that we have made good financial decisions that have made it possible for me to be here.

Reasons to be Grateful - 1 & 2

Today at church my friend Wendy bore her testimony. She talked about gratitude and reminded me that this is the month of thanks giving – so I’ve decided to make it just that. Each day I’m going to post one thing I am grateful for that day.

1 – Yesterday we had the opportunity to go to our niece’s baptism and it reminded me how grateful I am for the blessing of baptism and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. My testimony and membership in the LDS church are so much a part of me and shape who I am.

2 – I am grateful to be able to go to church. Since the church is full of lots of germs we can’t take Jack there with us, so Hardy and I trade off going to sacrament every other week. Today it was my turn and it was good to be there and feels the spirit. Someday we aspire to be able to all go together as a family. Hopefully in the spring after Jack has had his next surgery and RSV season is over.

A Benefit of being a SAHM

I must say that one of the nice things about being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is that you can get stuff done that requires someone to come to your house during working hours without having to use up all your vacation hours. A few weeks ago I got my new storm door installed so I now have a beautiful, sun filled living room. Today was my next set of improvements.

First, I got my furnace cleaned and tuned up, ready for winter. I know they say you are supposed to do that every year. Well, this was a first for me. It was pretty gross, but now we're set.

Next, since the guy was also a plumber I had him take a look at my shower. Ever since I bought this place I have had water pressure issues. The pressure is fine when the water is cold, but as soon as you try to get any hot water it drops to a trickle. Towards the end of my pregnancy Hardy and I actually started sharing a bathroom because having to take a shower that was either cold or had no pressure made me burst into tears every morning. I had never had it fixed because someone once told me they had a similar problem and a plumber told them there was nothing they could do about it without ripping the whole thing out. Well, they were wrong because I now have a fully functioning shower with real water pressure, not matter what the temperature. I think my next project is to install a really good shower head. I am SO excited to take a shower tomorrow!

Ughh

So, the other day I was drying my hair and getting ready for the day when I discovered to my absolute horror 2 grey hairs! At first I tried to pretend they were just very, very blond, but deep down I knew the undeniable truth. Jack is only 10 weeks old and already he's aged me.

Those two blasted hairs were quickly pulled right out by the root and promptly discarded, but boy was it a reality check, especially with my 30th birthday staring me down in just a few short months. Boo to getting older!

Single Mom Appreciation

I think I'm finally getting the hang of this single mom thing. Hardy had another work trip this week and I managed fairly well without him. My mom came out for about 2 hours on Monday, but other than that it was just me and Jack until we pick up Hardy this evening. Thankfully the little guy was pretty good, but by this afternoon I kind of hit a wall and wound up at my parents for the afternoon. Jack grinned at grandma the whole time so I think he needed a change of scenery as well. I seriously have no idea how single mom's do it though. I adore the kid, but sometimes I need to have someone else hold him for a few minutes so I can get some things done.

My good news (which I forgot to post last week) is that I had a storm door installed on my front door and I LOVE it. It lets in so much light and fresh air into my dark living room. Since that's where Jack and I spend most of our days, it makes a huge difference. It does make it a little trickier to carry the car seat in and out of the house, but it's totally worth it.

Lose Yourself

Before Jack came along I remember hearing friends and sisters talk about how once they became a mother they no longer seemed to have their own interests. Their focus and interest was now the kid(s). I didn't quite understand and alwasy wondered how you could lose your identity that way. Yet here I am only 6 weeks into this motherhood thing and suddenly I think I get it. Hardy likes to go golfing, which I usually support him doing, so in exchange he keeps offering to let me go do my own thing while he watches Jack. The thing is, I can't think of a lot of things I want to do right now that don't include Hardy and Jack. One of these days I'm going to find a photography class to take or something like that and Hardy will get some good guy time with the little fella, but really the occasional trip to the grocery store seems to keep me fairly fulfilled at the moment.

It's a very strange phenomenon this motherhood thing. Giving everything up for this tiny little person suddenly seems like such a small sacrifice.

Happy Birthday Hardy!

Jack wanted to wish his daddy a very Happy Birthday! He's the best dad ever and knows all the tricks to getting the little guy to eat or settle down. He's even a whiz at changing diapers and singing lullabyes. He's also one terrific friend and husband. I couldn't ask for more.

We love you Hardy!!!

Computer Access

I just have to give a great big THANK YOU to Charity and Dean for lending me a laptop for the remainder of our hospital stay. It definitely helps pass the long days. Thank you, thank you!

Sleeping in our own bed

Sorry for the lack of updates during the day. Hardy has had to go back to work a little bit and decided he needed to take his computer with him :) Crazy that. I've been told they have computers down in the Parent Resource Center, I just keep forgetting to wander that direction during the day. Plus, what fun is a post without a cute picture, eh?

The hotel we've been staying at is booked this weekend so we are actually going to sleep at home tonight. It's a strange thought. It feels like it's been ages since we have been outside a 2 mile radius of the hospital. I'm so grateful that we've been able to stay close while things have been a little scary, and now that Jack's doing so well it might be a bit easier to sleep at home. We'll see about that though.

Already a better day

Today is a big day for Jack to get off the ventilator so we are very, very happy to have Ken, our favorite nurse, back taking care of our little guy. It's already a much better day.

Mommy Vent

Today was a good day for Jack, but a little harder on me. I am absolutely exhausted tonight. I couldn't quite figure out why, but then I realized that it was because of our nurse today. She totally stressed me out.

She was nice enough, but she kept telling me that Jack recognized my voice and it was agitating him so I needed to not touch or talk to him so he wouldn't wake up or get upset. She actually threatened me that I better not wake him up when my Relief Society President came by and I wanted to let her see Jack. Then she asked me how I was doing with my pumping. When I told her how much I was getting she told me that I need to pump longer and more often because I'm not getting enough, but when I asked my friend Patty she said that's about how much she was getting one week after birth. And to top it off she kept lecturing me on needing to get some sleep. I'm sure her intentions were good, but I really just felt like she was trying to get me to leave so I wasn't watching her do her job. It was really annoying. All our other nurses have been great about explaining everything they are doing and trying to make it a comfortable environment up there for us. Luckily we heard her say she's not working for a few days so I don't have to ask not to get her again.

I spent the whole day with Jack and I feel like I barely interacted with him. It's left me emotionally exhausted. Thankfully it's nothing a good nights sleep and a new nurse in the morning won't fix.

Hurray for Heart Moms

I just have to say how grateful I am for the moms of other heart babies here at PCMC and around the country. They are such an amazing support network.

Friday morning as we were sitting for hours in the waiting room praying for little Jack several moms stopped by. One cute mom was up at the hospital getting her 2 year old HLHS son (also named Jack) weighed to see if he's getting big enough for his third surgery. Her Jack was the cutest, busiest, most entertaining little guy. He ran circles around the room the whole time he was there. It was such a shot in the arm for all of us to see how normal and wonderful (and busy) the future could be - so thank you Lisa for stopping by :) We loved it.

A few hours later as I had just hit the wall and was falling apart, two more heart moms, Hilary and Bryttin whose babies are currently at PCMC, stopped by to visit. They reminded me what fighters these kids are and were so encouraging. While we were in the NICU I got to know the mom of the baby next to us, sweet little Laurie. Her mom Patty stopped by with a bag of candy bars and a little toy golf cart for Jack. It was so nice. Her baby was born at 24 weeks. She has been here 2 months and Laurie just barely hit 3 lbs. That any of these moms were thinking about us while they were worrying about their own kids is just amazing to me. All these moms and families just rally together and support each other through the ups and downs. It's really incredible.

Thanks to all the heart moms and Intermountain Healing Hearts for your support!

A better day for mom and dad

Today has been a good day for Hardy and I. With so many wires, drains and IVs in Jack, there is not much we can so for him other than stroke his head and feet and talk to him. The result is that we've been able to relax a little. Ken, the nurse, found some comfortable rocking chairs for us and pulled out some warm blankets so we curled up for much of the morning reading and watching the Olympics while keeping an eye on Jack. We went out to lunch with Hardy's mom, and came back to the hotel for a little while to rest. It's been nice.

I am also extremely happy to report that the swelling in both my feet and boobs has gone down quite a bit today and making getting around much more managable. Our other good news is that Rob called us tonight and said that they were able to arrange for us to keep our hotel room for a few more nights. As long as Jack is still doing well we are planning to go home tomorrow for a few hours to do some laundry, repack our bags, and just regroup. I think it will be nice, but am glad we will be able to come back up here.

Holy cow - literally

Ok, since this is my blog, this is my update on me. It's hard to think about me right now, but I also just gave birth not that long ago, so for sisters and friends - here's how I am doing.

Holy cow - my boobs hurt! I think holding Jack last night fianlly triggered something and I woke up to a ridiculoosly large and sore chest. I met with a lactation specialist again this morning so she's helping me work through it, but it is not the best distraction while trying to worry about your kid. The good news is that at least I'm balanced and my feet are swollen to about the same size since I can't seem to stay off of them as I trudge every few hours to the pumping room.

In all, I'm doing well, it's just hard to take care of myself right now. I'm trying though.

Surgery is about to begin

We are now sitting in the waiting room waiting for Jack’s surgery to begin. We came over early this morning to spend some time with him before. They let us hold him again which was great. Dr. Kaza came and visited and told us he would take good care of him. We believe him but man it was hard to tell him goodbye. They will provide us periodic updates on his progress. We are scared but know he is in the best hands he could be.

A long day ahead

Jack's surgery will begin Friday morning at approximately 7:30. Hardy and I are trying to get a little sleep tonight and plan to head over early to spend some time with the little guy before they take him away. The NICU is usually closed while they change shifts between 6:30 and 7:30 but they said they would let us stay with him right to the very last minute. What wonderful nurses we have been blessed with for this last night before the big day. A good nurse goes a long way.

They said they will call us as soon as they make the first incision and will update us every hour after that. We'll try to keep his blog updated on his progress.

My drama for the day

So, Tuesday afternoon I was so completely exhausted that I came back to my room for a good nap. Well, of course they had to check my vitals every few hours, plus I'm up trying to pump every three hours, and every doctor imaginable had some reason to check on me, and the nurtitionist had to get my dinner order, etc, etc. Then someone in the hospital on the floor above me broke a water main so every 15 minutes someone kept stopping in to see if my ceiling was leaking, or to turn on the water. It was the worst nap ever.

Well, they finally restored the water so I didn't have to get evacuated to a new room, but I discovered Wednesday morning as I was standing in the bathroom naked, bleeding and just needing a warm shower more than anything in the world that though there was water, there was no hot water. It was more than I could handle and I burst into tears. Erin agreed when she came to check on me a little while later that no hot water was more than any woman should have to deal with 24 hours after giving birth and she was going to discharge me, but thankfully they managed to get it turn on again a few hours later so I decided to stay the night.

They also don't have hair dryers or plugs anywhere near the mirror for my curling iron so I looked like a drowned rat all day, but it was a really good day.

I am a Mother

Yesterday at 7:54 a.m. I became a mother. It was a very surreal almost out of body (no pun intended) experience that, as every mother knows, has changed me forever. My body aches, my boobs are sore, I'm completely exhausted, and I suddenly woke up this morning and realized that my heart is now hopefully resting peacefully over at PCMC.

Hardy is totally and competely smitten with the little guy and it makes me love and adore them both all the more. It's just so hard for me to imagine that Jack's perfect little body is anything but whole and complete. My arms ache to hold him, and hopefully we'll get another chance this week before he has his surgery.

Labor and Delivery

Last night Hardy and I checked into the hospital for the induction around 8:00 p.m. About 45 minutes after they gave me the medication to get us started I apparently had such a long, hard contraction that little Jack’s heart rate plummeted. The doctors and nurses rushed in and started talking about the possibility of an emergency C-Section, but Jack recovered and did pretty well for the rest of the night. I got my epidural at 12:30 a.m., they started the pitocin at 1:00, broke my water at 3:30, and by 7:20 I was pushing. According to Dr. Clark, my hips were built for giving birth (thanks for passing on those genes Mom) so I didn’t have to push for very long before Jack popped out at 7:54 a.m. He was and still is pink and perfect and looks incredibly healthy. It’s hard to believe anything could possibly be wrong with him.

After Hardy cut the cord, they passed him into the NICU at the U where they stabilized him. A little later the Life Flight team picked him up and transported him to Primary Children’s. Thankfully they made a stop by our room on the way and because he was doing so well I even got to hold sweet Jack for about two minutes. It was more than I was expecting and was so wonderful.

I didn’t make it over to Primary Children’s until later in the afternoon and then another trip to say good night, but Hardy spent most of the day walking family and friends who came to visit back and forth between my room and the NICU. We are both thoroughly exhausted. Thankfully Hardy’s extremely thoughtful friends reserved us a room over at the University Guest House for the week so he’s crashing there tonight while I recuperate in the hospital. Little Jack is doing so well and in such good hands that I think we will both sleep well tonight.

IHH Dinner

Last night I went to dinner with some of the mom’s from the Intermountain Healing Hearts group I now belong to. Three of us are pregnant and due within the next month with heart babies so the presidency got us together with a few other moms. It was so nice to spend some time with true warriors who have survived what we are about to go through. Some of their kids lost their battles, and others have kids old enough that they are now asking questions about why they are different. I loved being able to ask them a million questions, hearing about their experiences, and seeing how happy and positive they all were. They are really a great support and already I’m very grateful for all they are doing.

Today is my last day of work. It is such a weird feeling. I haven’t not worked in a very long time. That in and of itself is going to be an interesting change. The good news is that as of Monday I will be a contractor for the City, so I guess I’m not totally unemployed, I just have a different status.

Three days and counting.

Enjoying the Freedom

As Hardy and I continue our quest to enjoy every last minute of pre-baby freedom and independence (we only have 5 more evenings left), last night we took a spontaneous drive up the canyon. It was such a beautiful evening, so when we discovered a little road we’ve never seen before that said it went to Park City, we flipped into 4-wheel drive and kept going. Somehow we wound our way over the mountain and found ourselves in beautiful Deer Valley. By that time we were hungry so we found a great little place for dinner on Main Street in Park City. It was great.

A Fast for Jack

Dear Family and Friends,

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Jack Hardy, with his mother scheduled to be induced on August 4. Because his birth will be quickly followed by open-heart surgery, please join us in a special fast for Jack, Marc, and Aimee on Sunday, August 3. His parents need the Spirit with them as they welcome their precious son into a world filled with uncertainty. Jack needs the strength to recover quickly from surgery and to be able to thrive in difficult circumstances. The doctors need to be guided to provide him the best possible care. Please pray for them all, because we know you love them as much as we do.

Love,

Heather (Aimee's sister)

Nursery Video

I have had a few requests to see pics of our nursery, so I'm using this as test run to figure out how to upload videos from our new camcorder.

A Nice, Quiet Holiday

Yesterday we celebrated Pioneer Day here in Utah. It used to be a family tradition to spend the day at the park and enjoy the festivities, but this year we took it easy instead. Hardy and I went out to Bountiful Wednesday night to watch the fireworks. His dad is the City Manager so we got to take advantage of his rock star parking and reserved seating area, which was really terrific this year as I don’t waddle as fast as or as far as I used to.

Thursday morning Hardy flew to Las Vegas to play golf and help coach his basketball team in a tournament. I was reluctant to have him go and was a little freaked out lest little Jack suddenly decide it was time to make his way into the world, but Hardy’s been stressed out and struggling to prepare for what lies ahead as much as I have and I needed him to regroup so we can hold each other together over the next few months. He seems to be enjoying himself, but I do want it on the recod that I am the best wife ever for letting my husband leave town 12 days before our baby is due.

I, on the other hand, spent a quiet day with my family. My mom and I went shopping for a few last minute items for the nursery then watched a girly movie in her nice cool basement, only slightly interrupted by squeals and wails from my little sisters kids whom we were watching while their parents went to see “Batman.” Then I took a nap in the massage chair, which was pretty much the highlight of my holiday.

Miraculously I have been sleeping quite well the past week or two, hardly even needing to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I’m counting that as one of my blessing these days to allow me to physically cope and prepare for what lies ahead. My body aches and moves like someone who is ready to have a baby, but all in all I’m doing well. Plus I am going today to get a pedicure at lunch with some of my friends so that should help a great deal in making me feel better.

The Calm Before the Storm

Hardy and I are trying to enjoy these last two weeks before our lives get turned upside down, so last night we had a little BBQ (Hardy cooked some excellent steaks) and we went out for ice cream. It was very nice to just get out and feel normal.

I also finally got my bags mostly packed for the hospital last night. There are always the last minute items such as my curling iron and make up that just can’t be packed yet, but everything else appears to be ready to go to get me through the first few days. Several people have recommended that I pack for 2 weeks so I don't feel like I have to leave the hospital, but I've decided to purposely not prepare to be there that long so that I make sure I go home for a minute and give myself a chance to regroup. And if I decide I can't leave the hospital even for an hour, I know I can always send my mom or someone to grab me some clean underwear.

Getting Closer

Friday night Hardy and I had our final baby shower with a bunch of our friends. The guys played poker in one room and the girls and I talked baby stuff and opened gifts in the other. Friends came who I haven’t seen in ages and it was a lot of fun. (Thanks Leesh!)

The best part for me was that included in the group were some of our friends who have had babies who have spent quite a bit of time at Primary Children’s so they were able to give us the inside scoop and survival tips. Their journeys were different (see links to Charlie Cooper and Jada Rose), but they really understand what it’s like to sit for days watching and praying for your child. They are really great examples of strength, staying positive, and trusting in the Lord’s plan. Plus, since they have been there, done that, they gave great gifts to prepare us for the hospital. For example, fingernail clippers since apparently they practically have to take them into the operating room in order to trim them but as a parent you can do it yourself, and stuffed animals to prop up arms full of IVs, things I never would have thought of (Thanks Rob and Angel).

We also finally purchased a stroller and car seat, our last major purchases. We picked out a really cool one that is only 10 lbs. so that should make it easier to drag around. Plus the nursery is all but ready to go. We got the swing I got from my co-workers assembled and the cutest sports lamp and wall decals put up (from the Barnes, of course). I’ll try to get a photo and post it for those interested. I think it’s pretty cute.

August 4 - Ready or Not, Here we Come

Dr. Clark (Erin) called yesterday afternoon. We are officially scheduled to be induced the evening of August 4th. We’ll go in that night, they’ll do whatever it is they do, and hopefully Jack will be here by Tuesday morning. That’s the short version anyway. I’m trying not to think about the in-between part or all that comes after.

I just had a fun work shower luncheon. My co-workers were so sweet and some of them spent half the morning getting things ready. They were very generous and we got some really cute stuff, plus everyone pitched in and they got us a swing, bouncer and diaper champ – very good things. I can’t wait to go home and play with them. I have another little family-type shower tonight, and one with friends tomorrow night, (plus we had a ward shower last week) and then I think we are all showered out.

When we first found out about Jack’s condition, my first thought was that I wasn’t going to have any baby showers because it would just be too hard. But then after I calmed down and was able regroup and put things into perspective I changed my mind, and I’m really glad. It has been so much fun celebrating Jack’s life with loving family and friends rather than counting the days to his arrival in fear.

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:7.)

My Cute Co-workers at the Baby Shower

Aimee opening presents. Take a look at that belly!

Birthing Class and Jack at 35.5 weeks

Yesterday afternoon we had and ultrasound, dr. appointment, and Labor and Birthing class. As you can see from the photo, Jack is definitely getting bigger and fatter. Such a cutie (that’s his face, if you can’t tell). He is now approximately 5 lbs. 13 oz. - right on track.

Dr. Clark did a Strep B Test this week, and since she was down there anyway she did a cervical check to see how things were coming along. Apparently I am now 70% effaced and dilated 1 cm. She was tentatively going to try to push out the delivery to 39 weeks if possible, but is now rethinking that and will probably still schedule the induction around the week of August 4 at 38 weeks. Hardy has also now canceled his trip to Las Vegas next week just to be cautious as I’ve been having a lot of back pain lately.

We topped off our visit to the hospital with a private Labor and Delivery class. It was 2 hours and just the two of us. The teacher talked with us about pain management techniques, breastfeeding, and things we should pack for the hospital. We also watched a couple of videos that explained all the stages of labor. The best part was the look of horror on Hardy’s face as he watched the live births. He was rather traumatized. I must admit though that as I was watching the thought crossed my mind, “What in the world was I thinking when I decided to get pregnant?” I have to keep reminding myself that women have been giving birth for thousands of years so it must work out somehow, but yikes it looks miserable. Go epidural!

A Quiet Weekend

Hardy and I enjoyed a nice quiet weekend. We met up with some of Hardy’s friends from High School he hasn’t seen in a while for dinner on Saturday, and Hardy’s brother Matt was in town so they played lots of golf on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I’m too fat these days to run around doing too much of anything for very long so I stayed pretty close to home, though I did assemble a nice shelf for the babies closet so we have a lot more space to store stuff. All we really need to do is get the car seat and pack a bag for the hospital, so we’re getting there.

This afternoon we have our next dr appointment and ultrasound. Dr. Clark is going to do the Strep B test and see if I am effacing yet, and possibly set an actual date for inducement depending on how well Jack is cooperating with the target date of August 4. After our appointment we have a private Birthing and Labor class scheduled. That should be interesting. Hardy is a bit leery, but it’s only 2 hours so he’ll survive. I think it will be good for both of us so we feel a little more prepared for the actual event.

A Clean House

This week our focus is on getting the house nice and clean in preparation for Jack’s arrival in around 3.5 weeks. Hardy hired a cleaning service to come in yesterday and give it a nice deep clean. They dusted, mopped, scrubbed toilets, cleaned base boards, sterilized the kitchen, and everything in between. It looked and smelled so good when I got home last night. We’re going to have them come once a month for the next little while until things settle down a bit.

At first the idea of paying someone to clean my tiny little condo made me a little embarrassed, but I sure do like the idea of not worrying about it while we’re at the hospital. I’ve also got a carpet cleaner coming this afternoon for the finishing touch. It’s going to be so nice. Now we just have to keep it that way, which I think/hope we can handle.

Independence Day

The 4th of July is a big holiday for the Hardy family. Every year Hardy’s brother and sister, Matt and Janie, come from out of state with their families for the week and nearly every night we head to Bountiful to spend as much time as we can with them. We had dinner at his mom’s on Wednesday, and a BBQ at his dad’s on Thursday, and they threw a baby shower for us after the BBQ. It was very fun. All the grandkids decorated onesies and burp cloths for Jack, then we played some games and opened gifts. They were very generous and it was so fun to actually have some fun stuff to put into the nursery when we got home.

Friday morning we met my family at the Centerville Park for breakfast and the parade. Hardy isn’t a big parade man, but thankfully he’s a good sport so he lets me drag him there every year. I, on the other hand, love a parade, especially the one in Centerville, and my summer just wouldn’t be complete without it. I nearly died from heat exhaustion as we were walking the few blocks to his mom’s house afterward since it was 100 degrees outside, but I made it and luckily had time for a quick nap and a lot of water before we went out again.

Another Hardy family tradition is Lagoon on the 4th of July. I’m always surprised when it isn’t ridiculously crowded. Since I couldn’t exactly go on any rides this year, I mostly sat in the shade chatting with family and enjoying a large Icee. Hardy made it on 2 rides and played a round of mini golf. By then I was so hot and my feet were so swollen we decided it was time to go, but we were there nearly 4 hours. We contemplated finding a spot to watch the West Jordan fireworks that night, but instead opted for sleep and were in bed by 9:30. Wow, we’re getting old.

Just a note about Baby Showers

Since we have a few baby showers coming up in the next little while, I thought I would just mention something that an HLHS mom recommended. She said that when it comes to baby clothing, outfits that button up the front are preferable.

Apparently most babies don't wear clothing while in the PICU, but once they do start wearing clothes the doctors still need to be able to check the incision and it can be really hard if you have to totally undress them. They also usually have a lot of tubes and IVs that need a way to poke out of the clothing. It wasn't something I had considered before so I thought I better mention it.

Stimulating the Economy

Hardy and I received our economic stimulus check in the mail this week, so we decided to put it to work last night. Of course they were things we were going to buy anyway, but it always feels a little easier to spend large sums of money right after you’ve cashed a big check.

At Best Buy we purchased a camcorder so we can post video clips of Jack. Don’t worry, it has been banned from the delivery room so you won’t see anything too dramatic (plus, I’m not sure Hardy will even be able to watch the delivery live let alone want to see it later), just hopefully some happy clips of us doting over our new bundle of joy.

We also got a new iPod since our old one is no longer (long story). I decided that I am going to need to be able to access some nice calming music and some video entertainment while at the hospital. My plan for the next few weeks is to borrow some DVDs from the library and CD’s from family and friends and download things that will help me relax. That or I might just find a really good version of the song “Be Still My Soul” and put that on repeat for a few weeks.

Speaking of calming things, I read this article in the Ensign magazine this morning and it really spoke to me today so I thought I’d share. “Lessons from a Milk Jug”

Dr. Appointment

Nothing much to report from the Dr. appointment. I'm still gaining weight, but I didn't measure any larger so Dr. Clark thinks Jack must be starting to drop a little. He can't have dropped too much though since his toes are still tangled in my ribcage. We go back for an unltrasound and follow up appointment in 2 more weeks and then we are down to weekly visits. Yikes!

I have to share how pleased I have been ever since we tranferred our care to the University Hospital. They are so prompt. Even tacking on the extra 30 minutes each direction it takes to get there vs. when we were going to Jordan Valley, we still spend less time at the dr office. I used to sit in the waiting room for hours, but now they take me in to see the doctor within a minute or two of my arrival. Two thumbs up for the U - Go Utes!

Fat Girl in a Lazyboy

My new recliner finally arrived Saturday morning and oh how wonderful it is. We’ve had it two nights now and I’ve slept in it at least a few hours each night so far. It is so nice to have an option when my heartburn just won’t settle down or I can’t get to sleep because I’m just not comfortable. And Hardy likes it because it means he can get some sleep without having to endure my horrible pregnancy snoring. It also helps me to think happy thoughts as I close my eyes surrounded by cute baby things.

I must admit that I am getting pretty nervous as our due date gets closer. Approximately 5 weeks from today we will be in the hospital getting induced and after that our world turns upside down. Luckily between now and then we’ve got family coming into town, a couple of fun holidays that include two of my favorite things - firework and snow cones, and I’ve got a few baby showers so those will be a good opportunity to spend some quality time with the people we love before we become shut ins at the PCMC.

We have a dr appointment this afternoon so hopefully everything will still look good. Jack is definitely growing, no doubt about that. I’m getting fat enough that people keep asking me when I’m due. When I tell them in August they always have to remind me how hot and miserable I’m going to be this next month. Thank goodness for central air.

Family Reunion and Cribs

As I mentioned previously, we had our city celebration Country Fest this past weekend. It was hot and a lot of work, but they gave me my own golf cart to buzz around the park so that I didn’t go into labor, so that was good. All my vendors except 1 showed up and the event was a smashing success. Whew…glad that’s over.

Saturday afternoon Hardy and I drove to Heber where my family reunion was already in progress at my parent’s cabin. We somehow managed to squeeze 10 adults, 6 kids ages 2-10, and 4 babies ages 1 and under all in one tiny little cabin with 1 bathroom. It was cozy, but luckily the weather was great so we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was really nice to spend some quality time with everyone. And Hardy was such a trooper. He didn’t complain, even when my mom marched us all outside for the annual family photo that all the bro-in-laws hate. He won over the hearts of the big kids when he spent hours lifting them onto the giant slide at the neighbor’s cabin when no other adult would accompany them. And the babies all adored him since he took more than his fair share of turns holding them. What a good daddy he is going to be.

Speaking of Hardy being a trooper, we got our crib and changing table set up last night. Hardy only swore once, which I thought was pretty good considering the complexity of putting it together. It looks great, I just need to get the rest of the junk out of that room and get it decorated. Our new lazy boy gets delivered on Saturday and I am very excited as it will give me another sleeping option when I’m uncomfortable at night. We’re making progress.

SJ Country Fest

This weekend is our big City Festival at the park, Country Fest. I am in charge of all the vendors and boy are they a lot of work. Why people wait until 2 days before an event to try to sign up for a booth is beyond me. Too bad for them I am mega-pregnant and therefore have little patience and the answer to all the late comers is a big fat "No...but we'd be happy to contact you for next year." Here we were 3 weeks ago worrying that we weren't going to have enough vendors and now I can't find a stick big enough to beat them back.

According to the weather report, it's going to be nice and sunny this weekend. That is good if you are coming to the festival, less good if you are 32 weeks pregnant and required to be there. Don't worry though, I have made it very clear that I will be sitting in the shade of the pavilion with a large beverage and will only be there as long as I am absolutely needed. As soon as I can get all 65 vendors settled and their issues resolved (and watch the parade), I'm then headed to the mountains to join my family reunion which will already be in progress. It will be great to see everyone and spend a little quality time together. We're squeezing a lot of bodies in a small space, but that's half the fun, right Hardy?

Birthing Classes and Cribs

We went to the doctor for a routine visit yesterday afternoon. Things are still looking fine as far as the pregnancy goes. I’m healthy and little Jack is growing.

We got to see the room where we will most likely deliver. It looks like a typical delivery room, but has a special window that goes directly into the NICU. If that room is full when we go into labor then we will deliver in the operating room since there is a window to the NICU in there as well.

I think the reality that this is really going to happen in 6 or 7 weeks is setting in and that’s really strange. I feel like there is more I should do or know, but I’m not sure what. We haven’t taken any child birth classes like I had initially planned since I don’t feel like we are quite in the same situation as everyone else in the class would be. We don’t need to discuss pain medication options or take a tour of the nursery – those don’t apply to us. Instead we know that we’re being induced and will have an epidural, plus we’ve toured the PICU and have discussed what will happen after he’s born with the neo-natalogist. The delivery is really the last thing on my mind right now. It’s scary but seems like the easy part of what lies ahead.

We did finally get a crib and changing table yesterday. My mom came out and we went shopping, then Hardy joined us for dinner and helped us pick them up. We’re going to try to get them set up this evening. Next I need to find a recliner and get some bedding. Prior to last night’s shopping spree, I literally had absolutely nothing for the baby other than a few outfits my sister gave me that no longer fit her little boy and 2 shelves I bought. We’re making progress.

4 Very Happy Hours

Since last week tested the limits of my sanity, I decided it was a great time to cash in the Mini Day Spa gift certificate Hardy gave me for Mother’s Day. What a great decision that was. I spent the entire afternoon on Saturday being rubbed, cleansed, and pampered. First I got an hour facial, followed by a pregnancy massage, ending with a foot treatment. It was SO nice and did an amazing job of helping me regain my sanity. I had four hours of peace and quiet to meditate and process everything that has been burdening me lately and then focus on all the positive things that we have been blessed with. At the end I came home renewed and refreshed and life is looking a bit rosier. My house is still half in boxes which is a pain, but at least we still have a place to live, and we won’t have to worry about taking care of a yard while we are at the hospital, plus our mortgage is still nice and cheap.

Hardy had a lot of very happy thoughts coming his way all day Saturday thanks to his great gift. I tried to show my appreciation by making his first official Father’s Day a good one, but a day at the spa is really hard to top. He got breakfast in bed, a steak dinner, no church meetings, and watched golf and basketball to his heart’s content (plus a new wallet which he desperately needed since his old one is disintegrating).

He is going to be the best dad and loves this little guy so much already. I am ever so grateful that he is by my side through this journey. I don’t know what I would do without him. Whenever I fall apart he somehow manages to put things back into perspective and keep me going. I love him more every day.

Happy Father’s Day Hardy!

Ultrasound Pics from Tuesday

He's kind of hard to see, but here are our latest pictures of Jack. The top two are profile shots(with a hand in the way). The bottom left is his foot. Bottom right is his hand. Usually they take a million pictures, but they didn't do very many this time since they were just checking his growth. He's in the 58th percentile, right on track.

Is it really only Tuesday? I feel like I've been hit by a bus.

Well, I had a whole post written up about my house frustrations and our preparations to move tomorrow, but those are all gone now since the deal on our house fell through tonight. Due to the pending litigation in our complex the lender wouldn't do the deal, so even when our realtor found a lender who would do it, the buyer was scared off. We do get to keep the earnest money which will just about cover the cost of the POD sitting empty in front of our garage that we now have to send back rather than fill tomorrow. Our moving team is now coming over to help us move back into our house rather than move out.

Hardy was worried that telling me the news would send me into premature labor, and I'll be honest, I did get a little hysterical for a little while, but mostly because it just feels like another kick while we're already on the ground. I'm just so tired. Some day looking back I'm sure this will all be a little comical, but I'm not there yet.

We had 3 dr appointments this morning. First we met with Dr. Su, the cardiologist at Primary Children’s, for a fetal echocardiogram. His assessment was that it looks like a pretty straight forward Hypoplastic Left Heart and the right ventricle looks like it’s doing well, which is about what we can ask for at this point. He stressed that this is probably the most complex congenital heart defect to operate on, and eventually Jack will probably need a heart transplant, but we can cross that bridge when we get there. We also got a tour of the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) where Jack will most likely spend the first 4-6 weeks of his life. There was a little girl in there who was born 2 weeks ago with HLHS and had her surgery last Wednesday. It was pretty intense to see all the machines she was hooked up to, but she was beautiful.

Next we had an ultrasound. They confirmed that Jack is growing right on track, and that brain thing they worried about before but thought was probably nothing looked totally normal today now that they could get a better look at it. All good news.

Finally we met with a Neo-Natologist (a NICU doctor) who talked to us about the delivery process and what we can expect to happen right after Jack is born. Basically he’ll be handed through a wall to the NICU where they will stabilize him, then I might get to see him for about a minute before Hardy and the Life Flight Team walk him over to PCMC and take him into the PICU. If he has to be put on a ventilator we will not be able to hold him for possibly up to a month, but if he keeps breathing on his own we might get to hold him a few times before he has his Norwood surgery that first week.

Hardy gave me a mini day spa package for Mother's Day. I think if ever there was a week that I needed to cash that in, it's this one. I have a feeling that's where I'll be on Saturday, if not sooner.

The Joys of Pregnancy - Heartburn & Rib Kicks

I’ve had a really hard time sleeping this week. For the most part it seemed to be due to my cold, but now that that’s almost gone I realize that most of the discomfort is from my new pregnancy symptom – heartburn. I’ve never had heartburn before, but my pain and discomfort fit the description. I missed Hardy greatly while he was gone, but it was kind of nice to be able to prop myself up on a multitude of pillows and not disturb him for a few days. I’m going to have to figure out a new propping system that doesn’t take up the entire bed. I’d love to hear any tips or suggestions anyone might have for coping.
Jack has also decided that kicking my ribs is a great work out and fun night time activity. For the most part I find it strange and fascinating, but the heartburn is making it much less enjoyable.

Six Days and Counting

That’s how long I have left until I am officially homeless…six days. I’m choosing not to panic or be upset about it, but I better not meet Shawn, the realtor for the house we’re trying to buy, or he’s going to get a bloody nose since he still hasn’t finalized the deal he said the banks agreed to and would be done by this past Monday.

Technically we have until June 16 to move, but the person buying our house is very anxious to move in that weekend we were planning to move out, so to be accommodating and to ensure a happy buyer who doesn’t back out of the deal, we’ve decided to rent a POD and fill it with all of our stuff this Tuesday or Wednesday. We’ll then close on Thursday and it will be his by Friday. It feels really weird to think about not having a place to go home to, especially since I’m gigantic, hormonal, and still recovering from a yucky virus. I’ve loved that little condo, but I guess it’s time to move on. I just wish we could sign the papers on that darn house so there was an actual end in sight.

Our realtor has been great trying to get everything resolved. He even pulled the “My client is having a sick baby in 9 weeks and needs to get resolution on this house by Friday” card, but considering the guy’s stellar performance thus far in dealing with the bank, I’m not counting on him. I hate that he’s going to make money on this deal, but I love the house. Not only do I hate to walk away from it, but I dread the thought of looking at anymore houses.

Hardy gets home from California tonight so we’ll figure out exactly what evening we’re going to move and post it, but if you’re available Tuesday or Wednesday evening for an hour or so, let me know. We’d love some help :)

Dr. Appointment

I had an appointment at the U Hospital yesterday afternoon. Hardy is off in Palm Springs competing in the annual “Hardy Cup” golf tournament with his dad and brother, so I brought my mom with me to the appointment. We’ve had enough twists and turns with this pregnancy that I don’t plan to attend any doctor visits by myself.

Since we had to transfer our care up to the U, my new doctor is Dr. Erin Clark. Her husband is one of Hardy’s really good friends (Landon) and since this is her field of expertise and she’s one of the smartest people we know, we asked if she would take care of us and happily she consented. She’s just terrific. We didn’t do very much yesterday other than I got my glucose test done which entails drinking what tastes like highly concentrated fruit punch then getting my blood drawn 1 hour later, and Erin talked about what to expect going forward. Dr. Byrne had said we will probably be induced at 38 weeks so I thought we might set a date at this appointment, but Erin said that it’s better is we just wait and see how thing are coming along. No need to force it if he’s not ready to come out yet.

Our next appointment is next Tuesday when we will have our second fetal echocardiogram and get a tour of the PICU where we will spend most of our time after Jack’s surgery. We then will have an ultrasound to make sure he’s growing and healthy everywhere else. We also might meet with the neo-natal surgeon to discuss the surgery. It will be a busy day, but should give us a lot more information.

Now I just need to get over this terrible cold I’m suffering with so I can function again. I have a hard enough time sleeping at night due to the pregnancy, let alone throwing in a runny nose and a hacking cough. This too shall pass though. I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.

Cutting it a little too close

So, Hardy and I went to look at another house today in South Jordan and decided to make an offer on it. It's a lovely house in a nice neighborhood and we felt good about it. Our realtor went home to work up the paperwork and who should call but the realtor for the first house we made an offer on (8 weeks ago) with a counteroffer that if we accept we can probably close on it by the time we have to move out of our house. Seriously, did we have to cut it this close? I'm sure the Lord has a plan for us, but good grief, I'm exhausted. It's not a done deal yet as we're trying to get them to bring down the price a little more since the grass is now dead due to their untimely response, but we may just be able to manage to only have to move once.

I'll let you know when we have a deal. Hopefully that will be very very soon. (Heather - Hardy and I may just be able to host dinner at our house for the family reunion after all.)

Memorial Weekend Highlights

Thursday night – Indiana Jones movie. It was decent, just don’t set your expectations too high. The beginning is pretty cheesy, but it gets better as it goes along.

Friday Morning – Flew to Reno, NV for the AAU Basketball Tournament. (24 players, 18 parents, 7 coaches, and me)

Friday Afternoon – The guys all went golfing, so I joined one of the players mom and sisters and we got pedicures. It was so nice since I can’t really reach my feet very well anymore, and they were delightful company. I even got a nap in before the men got rained out and had to come back from the golf course early.

Friday Night – Outback Steakhouse, a staple for the coaches in Reno. They eat there every single night during the tournament. I could practically place all their orders for them. I was the only wife who came this year so it was me and 7 men, which is always interesting, but they are very good to me.

Saturday – Basketball games. All 3 teams from Olympus won their first games so no one had to play a 2nd game that day.

Saturday Night – Because there wasn’t an afternoon game, Hardy and I drove to South Lake Tahoe for dinner. We had a beautiful drive through the snow to Tahoe then found a cozy little restaurant overlooking the lake. It was nice to get away just the two of us for a while.

Sunday – More basketball. Hardy’s team won a real nail-biter in double over time against a pretty tough team. The parents gave him a big ovation for his impressive coaching when Hardy came over to the bleachers after the game. It was fantastic. I had planned to stay and watch part of the next game, but due to all the overtimes Hardy had to take me straight to the airport.

Sunday Evening to Monday – I joined my parents and my little sister’s family at our family cabin in Heber. We ate, slept, and watched movies while curled up in sweats next to the fire. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I got home Monday night just in time to pick Hardy up from the airport. His team won 3rd place in the tournament, so we’ve got another plaque to add to the trophy case in our new house (if we ever get one).

It was a good weekend, but it sure is nice to be home.

A Little Pick Me Up

I think the Lord recognized that while yesterday started out as a good day with my bread baking at the crack of down, it deteriorated quickly by the days end (due to my lack of sleep I was feeling pretty discouraged and emotional), so today he sent me some blessings.

No, we didn't hear back yet about the house, but Hardy and I went house shopping again today and we found one that we actually really like. It’s a bit more expensive than the other one, but it’s really nice. We’re going to think about it a little more, but it’s a good option. That was only kind of the blessing. The good stuff came shortly thereafter.

1. Our realtor Craig is in our Bishopric and told that I am going to be released from my calling as Primary President this Sunday. That is a HUGE relief off my shoulders. I love serving in the Primary, but I just need to not be in charge right now, so that is terrific news. And Hardy is scheduled to be released next week as YM Pres.
2. Ever since finding out that Jack has HLHS, I have become a bit of a blog-stalker of families with Heart babies. I feel like I spend half my day reading and praying for them. Well, after house shopping Hardy and I stopped for lunch at a nearby Wendy’s (one we have never been to before). A family came and sat down at the table next to us and I recognized them as one of the heart families whose blogs I had come across – The Homers. Their son Alex has HLHS and just recently turned one. He is the cutest little guy and it was so great to talk with them and hear about their journey. They were so uplifting and positive, and they live really close by. Seeing how happy and normal and great they were doing was so reassuring to us. It really did a lot to boost my spirits.

I also got the good news that my sister Erin had her baby yesterday and both he and mom are doing great. Now we're just waiting for pictures.

And to cap it all off, in just a few more hours I will be done with work and get to enjoy a 4 day weekend. Hurray for long weekends and unexpected blessings.

Happy Memorial Day!

Reno and Indiana

Hardy and I head to Reno this weekend for what is probably our last vacation before little Jack arrives. While the thought that Reno of all places could be my last vacation destination for a while is somewhat depressing, I’m glad to be getting a break and heading out of town. Of course we’ll be spending much of our time at the local Reno High School’s watching the Olympus Titans play basketball in a tournament which is our real reason for going, but I already have the clearance that if I can’t handle sitting on a hard bench any longer I can go hang out at the spa. :)

The even better news is that the party really begins Thursday night when we go to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Hardy’s work has rented out a movie theater and is buying dinner so it should be a pleasant kick off to the vacationing.

On a good note, Jack is doing well today. He's got the hiccups at the moment, which is always kind of weird but pleasant since I can tell exactly where he is. Right now he's just kind of chillin' down low in the front rather than jabbing my ribs, so he's being a good boy.

I'm also quite pleased with myself today. I woke up this morning for my usual 5:00 a.m. bathroom break and since I couldn't get back to sleep, I decieded I should make bread, so I did. I used my new wheat grinder so it would be extra healthy (Jack needs all the good nutrients he can get) and before I even got in the shower I had my scriptures read and 2 loaves of bread fresh out of the oven. What a domestic goddess. Who knew I had it in me?

1st Birthdays

Last night Hardy and I attended my nephew Josh’s 1st birthday celebration. He is so adorable and just the cutest, happiest baby around – especially all covered in chocolate birthday cake. His big sister Rachel loved every gift he received, and Josh was quite content to play with the cards and wrapping paper. For our gift, we “gave” him several fun riding vehicles and a swing that our good friend Trudy recently gave to us for our little guy. Since Jack is a ways away from being able to use them, we decided the best form of storage is to have them being enjoyed by Josh and Rachel and stored and Em’s house. (Thanks Sis!) We then anticipate that Jack can get them re-gifted to him on his 1st birthday.

Of course this all got me thinking about the future and all that it may or may not hold. It’s so strange to think of your child’s first birthday as an “if” rather than a “when.” We are doing our best to stay to stay positive and hopeful, but just so you are all aware, if/when Jack has a first birthday party, it will be a miracle and I plan to go all out.

Today I made my first purchase for Jack's room - a set of shelves, one looks like half a basketball, the other looks like half a baseball. They are so cute. I've been too afraid to buy anything up until now, but today I just did it, and it felt good. (Maybe if we had a house I might really start to go crazy.)

Ultrasound and Envoy

This morning we had an ultrasound at the U. Our little guy is now 2 lbs. 6 oz. Not too shabby for 26.5 weeks. He’s growing nicely and other than his heart, things look pretty good. They noticed something about his brain that alarmed them at first, but after looking more closely the perinatologist and radiologist were pretty sure that whatever they were seeing looked like a normal variance – “normal” being the key word. One of these days I’d just like to go to the doctor and not have the u/s techs wispering about something that doesn't look right. Those first few months of being tired and achy but not worried all the time seem so pleasant now that I think back.

One a good note, we got my Envoy back from the shop today, practically as good as new. They originally projected 4 weeks and $4000 in damage. They got the price right, but it didn’t take quite as long, so that’s at least something. Again, hurray for insurance. We also got word last night that the bank is actually looking at our offer on that house and we will hopefully get a response from them early next week. For some reason the house just resonates with us both and we really feel like it’s where were supposed to be. Let’s hope the bank agrees.

One Down, One to Go (we hope)

After our disappointment at the deal on our house falling through on Saturday, our realtor somehow pulled a rabbit out of his hat and delivered us a much better offer from an unexpected buyer last night. We sent over a counteroffer this morning with some slight modifications, but they are small enough that I can’t see them saying no. (fingers crossed) Update: They accepted the counteroffer! We're under contract!

So, the next challenge is that we could potentially be homeless in 30 days. I’m trying not to be worried about that, recognizing that we’ve got options and it’s not like we’ll be out on the street. We just hate the thought of being 30 years old and having to move in with any of our parents, even if it is temporary. If we could just find the right place, we have everything in order and could probably close in just a few weeks. I just wish that house we made the offer on would just go through. Blah.

As tiring and crazy as all this house stuff is, the nice thing about it is that it leaves little time to sit and feel sad and worried about the baby. He’s fine right now and we’re focused on things one day at a time. Right now we've got to find him a house.

No Deal

Well, the deal on our house fell through today. We sent over a counteroffer that was much more reasonable than the terrible deal she offered and she got spooked about the process of buying a house. We think this was a first house for both she and her realtor. Not a good combination. She’s now decided to wait 6 months before trying again. Darn it – we’re back on the market.

The good news is that means we can slow down our house hunting frenzy. It feels like I’ve been to a million houses this week in an effort to ensure we weren’t going to be homeless in a few weeks if the deal on our place went through. All that house shopping has definitely taken a toll on my ever growing body. It’s exhausting. We did find a few places that we actually liked today, but they all have their pros and cons. Still no word on the short sale house we made an offer on almost 6 weeks ago. Very frustrating.

Amnio Results and the House

The Genetic Counselor from the U called this morning and said that they got the final results from the amniosentisis. Everything looks normal. Last weeks results just looked at the 5 most common genetic abnormalities, while these results are from the complete work up. We are really happy with that news.

Other than that I am still just getting fatter and the baby is kicking harder. Until now his kicks have always been reassuring and fairly pleasant considering the strangeness of a foreign entity moving independantly within my body. Now that he's getting bigger he's able to plant some good hard kicks from time to time. They are still very reassuring and mostly pleasant, but he's definitely got less room to play in there.

Regarding the house, the buyers realtor is having problems with her fax machine and has been trying to send the offer over for days unsuccessfully. Has she never heard of Kinko's? Seriously. The first page did manage to get through to our realtor last night and the numbers were not quite where we were hoping they would be. In fact, they were almost laughable they were offering so low. Luckily our realtor is an excellent negotiator and he thinks we can talk them up to something more reasonable. We're flexible, but thankfully we're also not desparate. We're going to meet with him later today to discuss our approach and counter offer. We also found another place we're going to go look at in South Jordan that I think has promise. The exterior stucco color is a bit loud, but that's what paint is for, right?

House: Fingers Crossed

The Bad News: I just talked to our realtor and he said that there are now 9 units listed on the market within our complex due to the frustration we all felt at the HOA meeting last week.

The Good News: Our realtor is awesome and he just talked to a realtor who said their client is planning to make us an offer on our townhouse, hopefully tonight!

I know I’m asking for a lot of prayers right now, but we really need this to go through so we can get into a house before I’m too gigantic to move. The more we think about it the more I realize that if I’m going to be homebound with a sickly baby for the next year, I need to have a house and a yard. We recognize how blessed we are with what we have and if we have to stay I know we’ll be fine, but it sure would be nice to have an extra bedroom for mom if we need extra help from time to time.

So, if you have a moment, please pray that someone will buy our house!

Also, since we still haven't heard back from the bank on that other house, I'm going house shopping again tonight and hoping to find the perfect one. My fingers are crossed.

Waiting and Insurance

This weekend feels like the beginning of a long waiting game. The next 3 months are just a matter of waiting and praying that our little guy grows and stays as healthy as can be considering the circumstances. We are going to meet with our new OB/GYN next week at the U, and I’m sure I need to sign up for a birthing class of some sort since the whole giving birth thing of itself is freaking me out a little.

I called our insurance company this morning, and all I can say is “Thank Goodness.” I don’t know what you do in a situation like this if you don’t have insurance. According to the woman on the phone, this should cost us approximately $250 co-pay and the insurance company will cover the rest. I’m sure medications and the gas driving to and from the hospital will not be cheap, but definitely more affordable than what I was guessing three open heart surgeries might cost.

Hardy is out of town on business until Wednesday so I’m staying at my mom’s. It’s kind of nice to have someone take care of me for a few days, and I think she likes it too. Good therapy for us both. Tonight our plan is to order Chinese food and watch a chick flick. The commute wasn’t nearly as bad as I was anticipating, but we’ll see how it is getting back out there tonight.

Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome

This morning Hardy and I met with the pediatric cardiologist at Primary Children’s Medical Center. They did a fetal echocardiogram and confirmed that our baby does have Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) as they had been suspecting. This means the left side of his heart is not developing and our little guy will require 3 open heart surgeries to make everything work.

The good news is that as far as he could tell, everything on the right side of the heart looks good right now. That is very important since they will be rerouting the heart so the right side does all the work. The other good news is that the pregnancy should hopefully be just a normal pregnancy (other than a few extra visits to meet with the cardiologist and having to tranfser our care to the U). Things only get critical after he’s born when he is no longer connected to the placenta.

I put some pictures at the very bottom of the blog that help visually explain the difference between a normal heart and an HLHS heart as well as what they do to fix it. They were helpful to me as I've been trying to better understand what we are dealing with.

It’s definitely not going to be easy, but I feel like we were prepared for the information that we got this morning and we’re feeling pretty okay about things. The problem isn’t gone, but as of now the situation is as good as it can get, and we can’t ask for much more than that.

Now that we’re armed with a little more information about what the future will hold we can start to think again about the other major/trivial things like buying and selling a house. If we’re able to find a buyer in the next month or so we’ll probably still move. If not, we may just have to stay put for another year ‘til things settle down. We still haven't heard back on that house we made an offer on so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. One step at a time.

I also just want to thank everyone for your love, prayers and support. It really has made a difference for us. You name it and it seems to have gone wrong this week, and yet somehow we're still functioning (usually). I can only chalk that up to help from above.